Meetings will be every second Wednesday starting from April 21^st at Waikato Uni, S Block, 1^st floor, room 01.

Come along and find out what’s happening, meet some new people and eat your lunch….or anyone else’s lunch who isn’t looking.

Those of you who were members last year will remember our Sponsorship arrangement with Pins Cycles Hamilton. ( Members could get 15% off parts and accessories with a WUMBATS card.) Although Pin’s offered excellent support during 1998 and 1997, the committee have decided after much discussion, to move away from being linked with a particular bike shop. The committee found it was spending too much effort in liaising with the shop. We wanted to focus on more riding and less commercial issues. We also don’t want to pressure you guys into shopping at a particular shop.

Thankyou to Ron and all the staff at Pins for their support. Feel free to shop there or whichever shop you prefer, however they have offered a no strings attached deal to WUMBATS. You can apply for a Pins RIDE Card which usually gives you 10% discount, but WUMBATS can receive 15% discount with this card when they apply for it. You just have to drop in and fill out a form and let them know you are applying for the Wumbats 15% Ride Card.

If any of you are interested in fun events, drop into a bike shop and check out the various entry forms. There is the Mountain Bikes Are Fun

WOODHILL CHALLENGE coming up soon, which is an excellent event with both competitive and recreational races. There is THE BEAST on June 6^th, which is a MTB or Run over Thompson’s Track (The Kaimais), a 66 km road ride and 3km run. You can enter this as part of a team and do just one leg. Personally, I think doing the whole thing would kill me!!

Another event coming up is the famous CATEYE MOONRIDE on July 30^th. This is a 12 hour teams night relay and is a huge social event held in one huuuuge marque in Rotorua. Last year there were around 500 competitors and although it was very(very, very very) muddy, it was still heaps of fun. Laps this year will be around 25 minutes and hopefully dry! Winning is not the object of this event…it is just FUN.

****News Flash**** I hear that the Hamilton Club has just about finished the MTB tracks beside the Pukete Sewage Treatment Plant. Although I haven’t seen them yet, they sound pretty cool. Anyone who is keen to help finish building these tracks can ring Ross Healy on 8462103 and offer your help. I’m sure he would be pretty stoked…and besides, we want to ride on them don’t we??

Well that’s all from me folks. See y’all on the next ride.

Sheryl MacLeod

Sat May 1st Te Aroha 9:00 AM Beginners, especially are supposed to come this ride. Why? Cos it's a specially built trail for beginners. There is nice mostly metalled loop of about 2 ½ km which can be attacked as many times as you feel tough enough. The loops starts in actual Te Aroha and NO IT DOES NOT REQUIRE CYCLING TO THE TRIG, so no excuses. If you are a shy beginner or a pretentious bastard than you will be pleased to note that Sheryl is your escort and believe me she will look after most of your cycling problems. I'm not sure but believe that Aroha means love, so please it will be good to see some loving faces turn up for this one and don't forget to wear your plastic helmet things for protection.

Sun May 9th Pureora (Waihaha Hut) 9:00 AM All levels, it's a tramping track so it's not that hard.

I have heard nothing but praise about this ride, perhaps it's because I've heard nothing about this ride. Well then let me tell you all about it. It's in the Pureora Forest, yes this is where there have been recent sightings of Moa. The ride goes to the Waihaha Hut, Yes this is where there have been recent sightings of Moose. I am told that it is fun, yes this is where there was a recent sightings of the Abdominal snowman having fun. And you get to ride down steps, Yes steps are what was used by the aliens in the area to dismount there space ship during a recent sighting. I know from experience that the area has some beautiful bush and landscape, Yes beautiful is how the eye witness described seeing the Mermaid bathing in a stream recently near the Hut. The ride and day sounds like a adventurous mission, so I would pack some lunch and put another peanut buttered weetbix in for good measure, yes recent sightings of peanut butter going straight to your thighs has been reported however quite frankly I don't believe it.. Kids please ask your parents first. Andrew's ride will be brought to you with the help of your broadcasting fee so you can see more Wumbats getting air. All characters portrayed on this ride are purely fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead are 100% intentional, especially if you think that Martyn is the Abdominal snowman, Stu would make a lovely wee Mermaid, Neils hung like a Moose, Andrew speaks like an Alien and there should be moa rides like this one.

Sat May 15th Craters of the Moon (Taupo) 8:00 AM Intermediate. Just like Retardo De Caprio in that movie the Titanic "my heart will go on" for this ride. You can't fail to enjoy yourself on this ride basically cos you just get to play in this pine forest where there is a whole lot of tracks going round and round, up and down, through and through, peas and carrots, back and forth, over and under, loop de loop, in and out, rinse and spit, rump de bump, fast and slow*.. Craters of the Moon is right next to Taupo, that is the reason I put Taupo in the brackets up near the date and time of this ride. Toupo, Toopu. There will be a bonus point offered to anyone who can correctly pronounce Taupo. Andy otherwise known as Andrew or Android or cool fella (Actually I made all those up, but they sound realistic) will be taking this ride. I remember when I first went to Craters, back when I was young, back when you could buy a mince pie and a coke for 50 cents and still have enough change to pay your University fees, but I digress, when I first went to Craters there was this cool down hill called the Buzzard which reminded me of a big dumb bird and then there was this jump and I went on this jump and everyone was watching me and I went over this jump and I did go in the air and it was fun.

Sun May the 23rd Karangahake Gorge 9:00am Intermediate/Fit beginners

I'll start of by letting you into a little secret, this was my Favourite ride in 1998. Yeh baby yeh! It is nice because it windles it's way gently up a hill, you eat lunch (yum, peanut buttered weetbix) on a trig looking at the beautiful view of the other Wumbats in there tightly clad lycra cycling socks set against the picturesque Coromandal range. And here is the good bit, riding down, a very very nice long cool refreshing downhill that involves a high degree of niceness and pleasure. Jarrod being as keen as a bean has volunteered to take this ride also. Good luck Jarrod. And good luck you out there whose actually bothered to read this, cos if you have read this you should definitely be convinced to come along by now.

Sat May the 29th Rotovegas 9:00am All levels. There's not really much I can say about this place cos if you haven't been here simply YOU MUST GO! Or if you have been here you'll know what it's like and therefore will be attending. With you will be Martyn who is taking this particular expedition. As per usual Martyn has cooked up some excitement and advised us all to take our togs because we may just be soaking our fatigued little bodies in the warm free waters of Kerosene creek whose temperature regulator is mother nature herself in all her free thermal splendour. Did I mention that the swim is free. Batteries not included.

Mon June 6th Queen's Birthday Holiday. Tramp, Hakarimata Walkway, Tramp. Tramp, Near Ngarawahia, Tramp.

Many of us are big fans of the queen and buy all her records. Take this time now to celebrate with like minded people the queens birthday in all it's splendour. Actually we meat at 8:30 am at the rec centre carpark as per usual. Jen has advised me she is rather excited about taking this day's mission and it takes a lot to get her excited, believe me I've tried. I know that after a long tramp there is nothing better than a relaxing relax in some hot pools. With great planning and gusto Jen has arranged to finish very close to the Waingaro (is that spelt rite) hot pools so bring ya togs and have a relaxing relax.

Sun Jun 13th Riverhead 8:00am All manner of mongrel will be drooling over this fine and frosty day, because we will be going to the splendorous Riverhead Forest just North of Auckland were many a mere mortal has enjoyed frivolous fun. All Auckland Mountain bikers have been to Riverhead more times than they've been to the Head of Rivers, so that says something doesn't it. Speculation has it that Neil Mud Kerrison and Sheryl wet dirt Macleod will take you on a mysterious trip through voluptuous area known to some as the place where****...( you'll have to find that out for yourself) . Rumour is you will enjoy rolling landscape and mud. Send no money now.

A purely factual report giving true and correct facts about the actual happenings which occurred on that fateful day of Saturday the 17th April 1999 so help me God.

It rained

The wind blew

My car started first time

James and I waited at the rec centre carpark in the rain

James and I are tougher than anyone else in the club

We wanted to go riding even in the rain

Why? Cos it's still heaps and heaps of fun.

James and I decided that no one else was coming

We decided to flag it cos I didn't want to get my feet wet.

Donald Duck is a Fraud.

Karakariki Valley is untamed by Wumbats to this very day.

Thank you for your attention. Neil Kerrison

The guys and gals in the know are:

Sheryl Macleod Ph 855 9684

Vice President

Jarrod Ho Ph 856 0299

Andrew Sheerin Ph 843 9647

Martyn Simons Ph 856 8355

Rachel Ph 855 9684

Patrick McLaughin Ph 824 6181

Anyone keen on doing a little bit of research into the history of mountain biking and perhaps basing a master thesis will be glad for the following reference.

Just check out Q1.S416, Wilson S.S (1973) Bicycle Technology over the years, Scientific American, Vol 228, no 3 to see the evolution of mountain biking as we know it or not as the case may be.

Also for all the net surfers out there check out http:/www.reed.edu/~karl/chunk for a bike or something like it aptly named the chunk 666.

Gidday mountain biker people. I hope the academic (or otherwise) year is going well and that you are getting enough riding in to keep you suitably sane.

On Saturday 10^th April a group of people who obviously don’t value sleep met at 7am to go on the Pinnacles tramp in the Coromandal near Thames. The day began with Chris deciding to RUN up the mountain leaving the rest of us in her dust with our walking adventures. It was obvious that the PD boys have been doing their thing turning the Pinnacles track into the yellow brick road leading to the wizards castle (aka the Pinnacles hut). But true to tramping tradition the track got gnarly from the hut to the top and it was all fun from there – mud, ladders, roots and rock faces….what more could a girl ask for? The view was spectacular with several insane people clambering over sheer rock faces for that perfect photo opportunity. Now believe it or not, it was all downhill from there and as with any good mountain bike ride, the downhill rocked.

The bummer event of the day happened after the tramp where Gary’s good old Subaru decided to have a wee crash on the way home (ie 100 meters away from the carpark). Fortunately there was no injuries for the day, but the car is a bit worse for wear.

But all in all it was a fantastic day and fun was had by all. I hope I converted a few MTBers into trampers even if it was for just a day.

Here’s a bit of a funny to brighten your day:

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought:

"I don't fucking think so."

This is the WUMBATS gossip column where you have a chance to get back at that WUMBAT who jammed a stick in your spokes or put mud up your nose. Feel free to make up a story or tell a funny true one about them!!!(Good-natured of course.) All slanderous remarks and groundless rumours are welcome. Any submissions can be directed to Sheryl. Lack of submissions means she will make them up anyway

Seems some of us have been quite busy recently two well known MTBiking personalities have been mingling around together. Mr "flower power" Purgeot has won the charm of Ms Mongoose and apparently he's a real sweetie.

Does this mean we’ll be seeing a new spawn of Keewees around. Well we will just have to wait and see.

Well it actually looks like I have got a bit of space and time to write something in this time.

Actually haven’t been on any club rides yet but did manage to do the epic hike to the Pinnacles which made for a great day full of stairs. The view at the top is one of the most absolutely undoubtedly greatest panoramas around and well worth the effort.

If anyone has got any jokes, stories, gossip or news which they would like published in Off the Beaten Track please forward it to anyone on the committee or email it to greg.b@convex.co.nz.

Heres something to fill the space........