Hi everyone. A big WELCOME to all our new members. We are getting going again after the holidays, and have planned some awesome rides during the next few weeks. This newsletter includes a club phone list so you guys can ring each other and organise spontaneous rides, and maybe even get to know some like-minded biking-type people. Feel free to ring anyone on the committee just to have a yarn and find out what’s up, or on, or down. We don’t bite. Well …Neil does sometimes when he hasn’t had steak for a while.

*******BIG WUMBAT MISSION ********

********ON THE HORIZON !!!!******

Compulsory fun weekend. Mark down the weekend of August 21^st/22^nd and weasel your way out of any other commitments. We are definitely doing an overnight trip. It will be partially SUBSIDISED by club funds which were raised from running the Cobb & Co Adrenaliser Downhill Race last November. All those hard-working helpers…here’s your reward. All other club members…these are your funds too.

Whatever it is it will be GOOD. Register your interest by ringing one of the committee so we can book you in for some of the funds. We need to know numbers by August the 10th

Free on Tuesday or Thursday nights ????? Huh? Feel like a slob lately?? Bike getting neglected??? Huh? Huh? If you need some inspiration to get out riding, or you’ve got cabin fever during these colder darker months, try NIGHT RIDING. The Pins Cycles ride goes from the shop at around 5:30 ish on Tuesday nights. Ring up to check that it’s on. The Hamilton MTB club also goes from the Pak’n’Pedal carpark on Thursday nights at 6:00. You need some lights and warm clothes like gloves. The pace is very cruisey and easy. There is lots of fooling around and time to try tricks (or watch other people falling off while trying to do tricks), and we typically end up going through the Uni grounds, the rose gardens, along the river, through town….wherever. Come along and find out. It’s a great way to keep your skills and fitness up over winter so you can charge into it as soon as spring rolls around.

Sheryl

Sat 17 July Woodhill Forest 8:00. Neil. Sand based beautiful forest so it is great in the wet and not muddy. Purpose built tracks so bring you

lunch for some fun. Then stay up here for:

Sun 18 July Lactic Turkey #2 Wilson Forest (north woodhill) Cool cross-country fun race. Pre enter or enter on the day, just ask Neil for more info.

Sat 24 July Te Aroha Trig. 10:00 Patrick, Jarrod, Martyn. Yes this does go up and down a large hill.

Fri 30 July 8pm - 31 July 8am Cateye Moonride. 12 hour teams relay. All you can eat. Around $70 each. Big/giant tent. Huge party atmosphere.

Spectate or ride. Must pre enter. Ring Sheryl for more info.

Sun 8 Aug Big Rock - Tokoroa. 9:00 Patrick.

Sat 14 Aug Mt Tarawera. 8:30 Martyn. Adventure up the technical single track to the crater. Ride down the shingle slopes of the crater. Back down

the single track. Windbreaker, warm stuff and lunch!

Sun 15 Aug Lactic Turkey #3 Woodhill Forest. Ask Neil for more info.

Sat 22/Sun 23 Aug THE INUAGRAL WUMBAT HUGE MISSION. Yet to be decided but

read with vigour and interest the presidents bullshit on the front page. Should be great fun with two days of adventures and a party in between!

Sun 29 Aug Karangahake Gorge. 9:30 Sheryl. Looks like we will check out some new single track on the way down. Can't wait.

Sat 4 Sep Thompson's Track - Kamai-Mamaku Ranges. 9:00 Jarrod.

To all those who are new or have a incredibly small memory capacity, the time given is when we meet outside the rec centre carpark at university.

The name beside that time is the person who will be taking the ride so if you have any queries hassle them first. Go hard!

The guys and gals in the know are:

Sheryl Macleod Ph 855 9684

Vice President

Jarrod Ho Ph 856 0299

Andrew Sheerin Ph 856 6340

Martyn Simons Ph 856 8355

Rachel Ph 855 9684

Patrick McLaughin Ph 824 6181

The publishers of NZ Bike made the following offer to clubs:

For every annual subscription taken out by one of our members Phoenix Publishing will pay $5.00 to the club. Annual subscription is $60.00 for 11 issues per annum. You save a bit and it’s convenient. Interested? Please complete the form below and send with cheque to: NZBIKE SUBSCRIPTION, PO Box 604, Rotorua

A plea to you guys and gals NOT to ride here unless you have a permit. There have been rumours of a total ban on anyone ,ever, if they catch 30 more unlawful riders in the forest. The ranger is only doing his job and it seems that he has even been physically assaulted lately. This is not the image we want for mountainbikers and it will not open up new areas for riding. We will lose them instead.

A permit costs you the price of a stamp. That’s right, a big 40 cents. Then you are allowed to ride in Ngaruawahia Forest. Pick up a permit application from PINS Cycles and give yourself peace of mind. We are also enquiring about a club permit and will keep you posted.

Yes you heard right. The Hamilton MTB Club have been working haaaarrrrddddd at building, slashing, and moulding some cool tracks for everyone to use. They plan to have 3km of tracks ready for their race series in October. 1.5 km is ready to ride so far but they need help. If any WUMBAT feels like snuffling around in the dirt, (that’s what WUMBATS do isn’t it?) there are working bees on July 18, and Aug 15 & 29. Ring Ross Healy on 8462103 and get stuck in.

To get there go up Te Rapa Rd and turn into Kapuni St (just before the Bendon Factory). Turn right again into Maui St and cruise into the carpark on your left. This leads to the tracks. You’re there. Now ride around lots and lots.

The day began in a freezing, foggy, Hamilhole carpark. Most stayed in bed with a meager turnout on the day. We reached Ngaruawahia to find blue skies and sunshine. An hour later the trig was conquered and we gazed triumphantly over the landscape to see Hamilhole still enveloped in a blanket of fog. We laughed (on the inside of course) at all the suckers who didn’t haul their arses out of bed to come tramping and were still freezing in the fog.

The rest of the tramp (8hr DOC Time…..4.5 hr WUMBATS Time) was spent dodging roots and admiring some really neat bush and red mushrooms. The upper viewpoint made me realise that we actually have lakes (other than the Hamilton Lake) in the Waikato, and that it’s not as flat as a pancake everywhere, although you wouldn’t believe it riding around Hamilton!!

Jen.

This beginners ride had a good turnout. We even hooked up with some more WUMBATS near the end of the ride. We went up and we went down, and up and up and around and then down some more. Actually we got kinda disoriented. The tracks are definitely twisty. They have a gravel base and are pretty well made. There are beginner or advanced options on a few of the trails and all are named and signposted. Go there. You know you want to.

This is one of the bestest , most coolest, raddest rides I’ve done. In fact I would go as far as to call it crankaliscious. A big WUMBAT crew and friends toiled up the hill in some pretty hot, heat. We could see the transmitter way above us but in the end the climb wasn’t too bad. It twisted through ferns and native bush tracks. The top section was a challenge of clay ruts and roots. You had to keep your momentum up to get through them. At the top we lazed about in the sun as only students can, and scoffed some nosh as only hungry mountainbikers can. Time for the crankaliscious part. We had earned our downhill, and it was looooonnnngg!!!!!!!!! Baby!!!!!

We ended up in separate groups so I can only comment on the one I was in. We were Mikey, Mike and the Funky Bunch. Refrigerator Technician Mike followed Mechanic Mike. Lester and I (Sheryl) followed the Mikes. The pace was fast. We jockeyed positions around crashes. Lester wasn’t on his usual bike and he took it on some crash testing. I nearly rode onto his stomach, at which point I stopped in shock. He was holding up his hand and yelling something about his finger. It looked to me like it had fallen off and was dangling at some odd angle, but then I realised the finger of his relatively new gloves had ripped off.

We continued on a full-on jungle assault-or so it seemed, because the ferns and branches were overgrown and whacked you in the face at every opportunity. Some of the more overgrown corners we went around with our eyes half shut. After lots of whooping, yelling, laughing and roosting around corners right on each others’ tails we reached the bottom, totally exhilarated, puffing, laughing, eyes watering and large grins on our chops which we couldn’t wipe off even if we wanted to. –And that was only one of about three possible descents from the top. The WUMBATS return there on Aug 29^th for the tighter, more technical singletrack descent. Be there or miss out on one of the best feelings in the world.

After the Lynch Mob –Stu and Dan Lynch, Aaron, Sheryl, Mike, Jimmy the Juggler and Andrew experienced the beautiful singletrack on this ride, their lives were changed forever. Well maybe that’s exaggerating a bit. But they were kinda hungry once they finished …and some had stupid grins on their face.

The morning had started badly. Andrew had locked his keys inside his car and the locksmith was trying every trick in the book. A late start turned into an hour late after a few turnarounds, petrol stops, and a forgotten allen key for the loose bike rack. But we made our rondevous on time with the Lynch Mob at the track’s start where Dan was charging around in the 4WD Lynchmobile over anything large and bumpy. Stu took his chance and dive rolled out the door.

We got going’. The ride involved lots of stairs on the way up which the more skilful among us attempted. We didn’t see any other people. From how Neil described the ride in the last newsletter, I assume they were abducted by the Abdominal Snowman, or the Aliens, or the Moose….the Moa…or ah…..the mermaid (?) (I think we need to get this boy some help!).

We reached the Hut and signed the logbook, then it was mostly downhill through incredibly fun, twisty, flowing single track. Dan rounded a corner and nearly rode off the side of a little bridge with Mike right behind him. Sheryl rounded a corner to find Mike unexpectedly stopped and veered off the track towards the river until he grabbed the back of her jersey. Not content with such a close call she persisted in riding her bike off the side of the last unexpected footbridge at the bottom of the rip-roaring downhill. The bike went over and hung in a flax bush and the rider ended up hanging half off the side of the bridge. Quite amusing really.

Conclusion? You gotta do this ride!

The first of The Lactic Turkey Fun Run, Walk or MTB events was at Muriwai after a last minute venue change. Seemingly the forest at Waiuku was too full of cow shit after a thousand cows had been roaming, eating and shitting their way around the course. Lots and lots of people were there. It rained and blew and looked miserable all morning, and then the sun shone brilliantly for the race… until prize-giving when it collapsed into a dribbling mess again…..or was that me after racing 21 km? Someone was dribbling. Probably Neil. The next two events in the series are listed in upcoming rides. There are 7km, 14km or 21km courses and the atmosphere is always something special. People are in cruise mode and out for fun. Shake a drumstick and do one of the next events.

Some Race Dates to Tickle Your Fancy

(What? …you’re not ticklish??)

AUCKLAND CLUB CHAMPS.

DH#1 Sep 26 Muriwai

DH#2 Oct 10 Riverhead

DH#3 Oct 24 Dome Valley (Final)

XC#1 Nov 7 WoodHill MTB Park

XC#2 Nov 21 Dome Valley

XC#3 Dec 5 Riverhead (Final)

NATIONAL SERIES XC DH AND DUAL SLALOM

Round 1 8/9 Jan Hokitika

Round 2 15/16 Jan Cardrona Skifield, Wanaka

Round 3 29/30 Jan Napier

Round 4 5/6 Feb Taupo XC /Tokoroa DH

(split venue)

XC Final 19 Feb Rotorua

DH Final 26 Feb Rotorua

The new format series has only five races Riders' points will be counted for their best three performances and the final is compulsory. The final will now be run over two weekends with the cross-country race on the 19th of February and the downhill final on the following weekend. A Mountainbike Festival is planned for the week in between.

Sheryl MacLeod

Due to the fact that I’m on holiday (yippie!!!) I didn’t have time to write anything, but here is some dribble that Sheryl fished out of my e-mail account. See ya all out on the tracks!

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (Printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On a kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or Genitals

And now…because we know you have nothing better to do than read dribble…..

This is an actual job application someone submitted at Mcdonald’s….and they hired him!!!

NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:$185,000 a year plus stock options. If that’s not possible , make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I’m worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHEIVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITION THAT WOULD PREVENT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think a more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs ?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Readers Digest Prize Draw.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

Patrick a new love in his life. He has purchased a new GT full suspension flash thingee, after he brutally and callously broke his previous frame. Catch him if you can and check out his bike.

Committee member Rachel Smith left for France on July 1^st. She is spending 6 weeks in Europe representing NZ at the World Orienteering Champs. Go Rach!!!! She will be catching up with her twin sister and ex-Wumbat Rebecca who is already in Scotland. Keep an eye out for results.

1998 WUMBAT President Christina has also purchased a very flash Specialized M4 (a cool-looking yellow beastie) and will be going all out in the 2000 Nationals. Did anyone see her featured in the City Weekend recently? Famous aye?!!! She can be found lately working at Pak’n’Pedal.

Stu Lynchmob, an original WUMBAT from our beginning in 1996, has finished his degree and moved to Auckland to be a computer geek for a salary. Keep an eye out for him and Daniel Lynchmob too on their Mountain Cycles Shockwaves (Big freaky-looking motorbike type things with tractor tyres and springs and stuff.

Austin Hendy another old timer WUMBAT is in Canada riding and partying. Hopefully we can get him to tell us about his adventures when he returns.

Cool MTB Clothing store N-Zone from Rotorua has launched their website and it is wicked. It even has photos to download of people we know styling it up on their bikes. All the clothes are shown and you can order online. www.n-zone.co.nz

It seems that certain WUMBATS have a special relationship with gravel roads. A certain pair of brothers …who could that be?…..were racing at break-neck speed somewhere on a twisty gravel road near Te Kuiti when their truck suddenly, out of the blue, strangely enough rolled itself. How unlikely you say. But it was OK…the bikes were alright! They were inside the truck. (Although the handlebars did shatter the rear windscreen to match the front one.) No-seriously they were both alright apart from a couple of stitches on a wrist.

But that’s not all. A certain WUMBAT chick quote.."got a bit cocky on the gravel road" and managed to damage fences on BOTH sides of the road and dislodge a large fence post. I sense a pattern here.

(Found on the Mud Cycles web page. Written by Ricky Pincott from Wellington)

Downhilling is a strange sport, weird people doing stupid crazy, deviant, insanely fast speeds on a bicycle. Down tracks that granny wouldn’t go near. Yet why don’t we have more people downhilling? As, I hear you say, we can’t afford a supa-dupa, mega-travel, ultra expensive, downhill beastie, we can’t ride downhill very fast, well I should say to you NO! That is not the attitude to take. Lower the seat from your buttocks (ie. 2-3 inches from the top tube). Race down to Mud Cycles, get one of them fan-dangled riser bar thingees and some of the beefiest, gnarliest tyres you can find. Slap onto your trusty steed and wallah! Downhill Beastie.

Yes folks it is true, you can have mucho fun and be competitive at a local level on (dare I say it) a Hardtail. Although it is a little easier on one of those things with springs on the back. Most of the races (unless at a national level) aren’t terribly technical. So get your partners, brothers, sisters, mom & Dad, and even Granny to a downhill near you today. And hey, remember to start with, you don’t need all the gears. So grab your cross-country bike, put the seat down, strap a cushion to each elbow, let go the brakes and pedal, pedal, pedal.

The more you downhill, the greater the need for body armour, tyres, new wheels, and bike shorts. Also the greater need to sell the car, house and kids to but the latest ultra-expensive mega-travel downhill beastie.

The Rules of Downhill

1. No toe clips (platform or DH SPDs only)
2. Always, always moan about uphill and flat sections.
3. Never ever under no circumstances at all, be seen to be riding up the track. (This will mean total and immediate loss of respect and is in contravention of rule 2.)
4. Must endeavour to get big air at every chance. Even off the smallest of bumps.
5. If you crash and someone sees it, "Hollywood". Keep rolling downhill, flail arms and legs madly. (This works on the concept, if you do something, do it properly.)
6. Never be seen riding one of those most evil things- the road bike.
7. Look styley and cool at all times (Some people can’t do this but try) because it is the most important aspect of downhilling.

Manitou SX E Front shox. Brand New. Never been ridden. Came off a new Mongoose 7.3 (Replaced with DH Forks) Twin piston chambers. Adjustable preload. Retail $599. Sell for $400 Ring Sheryl 8559684

Titec XC Handlebars (flat) and stem (long). $10 each. Brand new, black colour. Ring Sheryl 8559684

Well hopefully everyone will breath a sigh of relief once this newsletter is out after all the trouble and little misadventures which have taken place to get this out before the weekend.

I was supposed to write up a ride report for Craters of the Moon which I took a few weeks back, but to keep it short and sweet it went a little like this.

Woke up late, realised that I only had five minutes to get ready and the ride was 30 minutes earlier than I first thought, car wouldn’t start, raced up to uni to meet others leaving, got to craters, it was pissing down and I had forgotten my jacket (poor cold and wet me). Hacked around waiting for others to arrived, after ½ hour wait decide to get warm and we all rode off into a bleak pea soupish weather into the forest. Rode around for a good 3 hours or so, got lost under daniels instructions trying to find some down-hill, did the Buzzard repeatedly until we had had enough. Went home.

Just enough room to say later. Andy.